Welcome to the first TOD 12th House Digital Altar space. I’m overjoyed to invite you to this page! There’s no comparison to be had on this one, since it did not exist on the former TOD website, but here’s the full look:

The Eris altar space is a special one because it literally sparked the website dream house renovation!

I’ve Always Said: You Can’t Spell Cherish without Eris

Let the record show, I’ve never said that. But keeping that in my back pocket now that this page is live!

I’ve been in relationship with this webpage since April 2025. Finally bringing it across the finish line meant impulsively adding a streak of green to my hair while playing Auntie Tara’s hair salon over Christmas break! IYKYK, there are many iterations of green Tara kicking around here. 

When I think about green Tara, I don’t instantly think of recent paper Tara artwork that’s come out green, or other colours…

I don’t think of DIY photoshoot Taras, who sometimes have shimmering green eyelids or a ghoulish green glow:

Although these gather around; they aren’t top of mind. Friends of the trees Tara is there, too (me on my hot girl walks, high-fiving the trees). She loves outside and is very much in relationship with all the life around her. 

So many green Taras. But no, I think of this Tara: 

First of all: she is the living, breathing embodiment of Brenna.

To gush: she slays a bob! And peep the long hair #throwback! Look at those claws. I have long said pink + red are one of my fave underrated colour combos!!

In the above video, I talk about Brenna. My paper bag puppet altAr ego. In case you haven’t heard me gab at naseum about Brenna, here’s a brief reference point.

When I realized in early 2025 that I really had accomplished living Brenna’s life as my own, I knew it was time to create a new altAr ego. My relationship to work and creativity has been and continues to shift, afterall. Instead, I tripped and ended up with a nameless alter ego character. While I fell all the way down the Eris rabbit hole and began crafting the Eris altar space. 

In the same way, I talk about posting content as building blocks of a body of work, I see digital divination as that, too:

“The mosaic that is inevitably created when content is posted—squares and rectangles on Instagram (or any social platform)—mirrors our home metaphor. Posts are building blocks of the digital home we’re consciously (or unconsciously) creating. The home is the structure. All the building blocks are their own individual, essential pieces. Ultimately, contributing to a larger picture.”

-Me in the Blueprint Blog

And digital divination, as a devotional practice of meeting myself more deeply, means I’m also talking about all of the parts of me. It’s funny to see all these versions of me together in one blog post! And to know intimately all the parts of me, who you aren’t seeing, personified in images and videos on this webpage. There’s something tying all these threads of myself together. I’m still carrying every part of myself with me here. They all have this (sometimes unexpressed) rich inner world. 

I’m here to do them justice through the release of the Eris altar, the 12th House blog page, and the house website renovation, generally speaking. 

Giving them space to shapeshift and be expressed is the medicine. Loving each of them like they’re worth it because they are. Allowing myself to be seen by connecting with others because I am. I hope what translates through the Eris altar space is that you, too, are brand new and worthy of being wholly and totally loved. 

Who is this Green Tara in this Iteration? 

A combination of all the versions of Tara before her. The walking embodiment of self-allowing. 

That little freak who lets herself go there. Where is there? Oh, it depends on what’s in season. Right now, it looks like: Feeling deeply. Saying too much about it to people I don’t know. Writing the fantasy plot line. Letting my mind loop over people, places, and things. To find the gems.

In August, I cracked something wide open on the self-allowing/self-acceptance train, thanks to desire and a Green Tara spark, as in the female Buddhist deity, the Mother of all Buddhas. This version of me lets information arrive through the body, through imagination, through wanting, and TRUSTING IT (the big integration piece).

Inner Cosmology: High in the Sky for a Deeper Descent 

One way to view stories and archetypes is through the lens that all the characters and symbols are representative of one psyche.

So this Tara is all the players on the board: the fire, the critic, the child. And in this tale, a bird of prey.

I see the bird of prey, hunting down and haunting the innermost critic in me. The part of me shaped by shame and guilt, by inherited stories which were never mine. From her bird’s eye view, high in the sky, observing, she sees that the innermost critic is actually my inner child, too. 

Through this observation, she sees and knows that these parts of me long to be met in my sensitivity and allowed to develop — Loved, under grace and in perfect ways. 

In seeing it all through this vantage point, beyond the lenses of good or bad, of success or failure, of punishment or reward, I offer her boundaries and tenderness. I honour her struggles. I see her good. 

I release her from the chain of confinement, from the weight of expectation she imposes on us, on me. We are not held hostage, married to our trauma. We alchemize grief. We are oriented to freedom and transparency. In mind, body, and spirit. 

I feel momentum on my wings. I let my energy loose, trusting it’ll be caught where it’s meant to. Or will it land among the stars to be enjoyed by those who need it. Even though I’m here now, and there is much fear present, I hold the frequency of Love. I move with Love. I soar. 

Integration is the Soft Landing

The integration of overflowing care and Love for all my parts makes safety. I am safe with myself. My body and mind communicate and trust each other as reliable partners. Even when it feels like it, I trust there is no loss in Divine Mind.

I do not know loss, so I see myself as the fire that changed my life irreparably, overnight. I see myself as the bird, as a child, I see myself as my own children. Because I do not know loss, I also see myself as the critic, I hear myself as my mother and grandmother.

Eris is the embodiment of integration without sanitation.

Since meeting Eris in April, I’ve come to see her as identity, shaking hands with worthiness, who’s already saddled up with permission. Permission to exist in totality. And though I do not know loss, I do know tenderness, vulnerability, pain, death — the human condition. Cyclical. Fragile. Still, the light shines through. 

I’m Certain Only of Limitless Possibilities

Because there was much to tend to personally since June, this page came together slowly. There are ~230 Milanote Digital Divination boards since the Eris Altar’s inception back in April of 2025, for perspective. That’s a lot of communing with myself. During a season of life where I didn’t have a home or belongings and then rebuilt (catch me still processing ma’am). 

Because I know the light shines through and freshness is always finding me, I was inspired to create the most recent addition to the Eris altar space! I illustrated these stained glass pieces in Procreate this past weekend. You know I love a patchwork moment:

Inspired by my own nail art. These stained glass window nails went on right before Christmas, and I knew something similar belonged in this altar space. 

In honour of fire, of the light returning, of integration and the solstice, I set the intentions to be free to be wholly, fully, unabashedly my fullest expressed self. And adore it all inside first. 

Like these nails, like the Eris altar space, and Eris herself… Like the dream house website renovation, and the fire grief, this blog post feels undone. 

But that’s what makes it work, right? It’s all a body of work bearing witness to the cyclical nature of life; it’s not persuasive, there’s no argument. It’s meant to sit beside the altar space, beside the entire 12th House blog space — a vigil.

No resolution, just movement and unfinished devotion. A weaving of webs:

Thanks for bearing witness. Lay your flower at the threshold: